The Masculinity Crisis: Why We Need to Talk About It

What happens when an entire generation of young men feels lost, disconnected, and angry? We’re starting to see the answers—and they’re not good. From skyrocketing suicide rates to political extremism, the consequences of ignoring this crisis are becoming impossible to ignore.

 

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about masculinity. It started with chatter around the U.S. election and the idea that Trump managed to tap into the frustrations of young men and get them to vote for him. Then, a few conversations with friends added fuel to the fire, and finally, a podcast featuring Scott Galloway landed in my ears. I love it when the universe brings things together like that—it’s magic.

 

But if I’m honest, my reflection on masculinity goes deeper than this. I remember a time in my late twenties when I thought I had it all figured out. I worked hard, put in long hours, and did everything I thought a man was supposed to do. But underneath it all, I was exhausted, frustrated, and deeply lonely. I didn’t know how to articulate it then, but looking back, I realize I was struggling to define what being a man really meant.

 

Fast-forward to now. I had an idea for a project to support young men who were struggling with life. When I shared it with my wife, she looked at me critically and asked, “Of all the groups in the world, why young men? You have two daughters.”

 

She had a point. Why this focus? I didn’t have a clear answer then, and honestly, I still don’t now. But I had a feeling—and over the years, I’ve learned to lean into these feelings. They’re rarely wrong.

 

So, after more thinking and research, here we are. I know not everyone will agree with my viewpoint, and that’s okay. I’m not coming from a place of anger or frustration. I fully recognize the privilege I’ve had as a white male born in the Western world in the 1970s. But I also see the growing masculinity issue we’re facing—and I believe it’s one of the least-discussed problems in society today.

 

What Do We Mean by Masculinity?

 

Before diving in, let’s clarify something: masculinity isn’t just about men. I believe every person—regardless of gender—has both a masculine and feminine side. Masculinity is about traits often associated with strength, logic, and action, while femininity is connected to empathy, nurture, and intuition. Both are vital, and both exist in all of us to varying degrees.

 

This blog focuses on the challenges men and boys face, but the underlying conversation about balancing masculine and feminine energy is one that applies to everyone.

 

The Data Tells the Story

 

Let’s start with the facts:

  • Mental health: Men account for approximately three-quarters of suicide deaths globally. In the UK, men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women.

  • Education: Boys are falling behind in school. In the U.S., women now earn the majority of college degrees, with 38% of women completing four years of college compared to 32% of men.

  • Job prospects: Many traditional male-dominated industries—like manufacturing—have shrunk due to automation and globalization. The result? Fewer opportunities for stable, well-paying jobs for men without advanced education.

  • Relationships: Online dating statistics highlight a stark disparity: the top 10-20% of men receive the majority of attention, while the bottom 50% are often ignored.

 

If any other social group faced challenges of this magnitude, society would respond with empathy and action. I’m not saying movements like Black Lives Matter or Me Too aren’t necessary—they absolutely are—but I believe we also need a movement for masculinity.

 

The Systemic Impact of Ignoring Masculinity

 

When men are left behind, it doesn’t just hurt them—it hurts families, partners, and entire communities.

  • Children without strong male role models are more likely to struggle academically and emotionally.

  • Relationships suffer when men aren’t emotionally available

  • Economies stagnate when half the workforce is disengaged or disconnected.

 

Addressing this isn’t charity—it’s an investment in a stronger, healthier society for everyone. This isn’t just about helping men—it’s about creating a foundation for a better world.

 

The Challenges Start Early

 

It’s no secret that boys, on average, mature more slowly than girls. Schools, however, are often designed in ways that reward traditionally feminine traits: sitting still, being quiet, and following directions. I was just at my daughter’s school recently, and the differences were obvious. The boys struggled to sit through the day. The moment recess came, they ran outside, coatless in -5°C weather, while the girls quietly opened books and started reading.

 

This dynamic continues into adulthood. Many traditional male jobs—factory work, construction, manual labor—are disappearing or devalued. And let’s be honest: how many boys dream of becoming plumbers or refrigeration engineers, even though these jobs pay extremely well?

 

At the same time, relationships are becoming harder for young men to navigate. They mature later, yet they’re often expected to meet the higher emotional standards women are setting—which is a good thing, but also a challenge when they haven’t been taught how.

 

This creates a dangerous combination: young men with no job prospects and no romantic prospects. It’s no wonder many turn to OnlyFans for intimacy, YouTube for belonging, and Reddit for a sense of community. The problem? These are poor substitutes for real connection, and they often lead to frustration, anger, and extremism.

 

A Hopeful Vision for Masculinity

 

So, where do we go from here?

 

Imagine a world where young men grow up feeling valued—not for how much they earn, but for how much they give. A world where strength is measured by kindness, where vulnerability is celebrated, and where men are empowered to build, connect, and lead with purpose.

 

Strong, emotionally intelligent men make better partners, fathers, and leaders. They build stronger communities, create safer spaces, and lift others up. This isn’t just about men—it’s about creating a better world for all of us.

 

What Can We Do?

 

I don’t have all the answers, but here’s what I believe needs to happen:

        1.      Redefine Masculinity

We need to show boys and men that being masculine isn’t about dominance—it’s about service.

        2.      Teach Emotional Intelligence

Young men need to learn that emotions aren’t weaknesses. Crying isn’t shameful—it’s human. I actually teared up while writing this blog.

        3.      Provide Role Models

Men need mentors who can guide them, not just in their careers but in life.

        4.      Build Community

Boys and men need real friendships, not the shallow connections found on Reddit or Discord.

 

A Personal Note and Call to Action

 

When I look at my daughters, I see a bright future—but I also see the challenges they’ll face in a world where masculinity is misunderstood and unbalanced. This isn’t just about helping young men. It’s about creating a world where everyone—our sons, daughters, partners, and communities—can thrive together.

 

To start, I’m offering free coaching to five young men (or masculine-identifying women). I want to learn from them while helping them. If you or someone you know would benefit, please reach out. There’s no cost, no obligation—just an opportunity to grow together.

 

The masculinity crisis is real, and it’s time we started talking about it. Let’s build something better—together.

 

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